Mutually Beneficial Dating

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Cannot Vs Will Not In Mutually Beneficial Dating

Here's something that I've learned over the years as a mutually beneficial dating coach:
Where it comes to self-change, there is no "I can't", only "I won't."
For example, if you email me and say "I can't flirt", you don't actually mean you're physically incapable of flirting. What you REALLY mean is that you "won't" or "don't" want to flirt. (By the way, "I don't know how to flirt" is not a valid excuse because if you were determined, you could learn and practice till you do.)

And if you INSIST that you "can't" flirt, then chances are, there are some beliefs in your mind that are stopping you from flirting. For example, you may believe that it is "wrong" or even "immoral". So once again, it is because you "won't", not because you "can't".

Read that report, and then do the following exercise whenever you tell yourself that you "cannot" do something.
1) Think about what it is that you "can't" do.
2) Rephrase it as "I won't" in order to see how you
REALLY feel about the matter.
3) Think about what you "need" to do in order to prepare yourself to do what you thought you couldn't do.
4) Think about the potential rewards.
5) See if the rewards outweigh the "work" or pain required.
6) Ask yourself if you still "won't" do it. Think long term.

Million Dollar Tip : You'll quickly see how often your mind will come up with different bullsh** excuses just so you can stay within your comfort zone!